What I Was Not Prepared For

Let's talk about aging and feeling old. (I know, how fun!)

While most folks know pretty much what to expect as they get old (like it or not, embrace it or not) -- the gray hair, the aches and pains, some decreased mental acuity, possible diseases, wrinkles, dealing with aging parents/ relatives (and their estates potentially), there are influences at play which are not so obvious. Sure, we can try to prepare for retirement (or not) and learn about Medicare and Social Security (if we are Americans), but there are things which can make us feel old that are completely outside the realm of our control and which no amount of planning can prepare you for. And that is what I'm realizing just now.

How old we feel in our senior years is not something related strictly to ourselves (surprisingly, perhaps, for some people, like me). While we can only plan for ourselves/ our families, the impact aging has on our peer group plays a huge role in how old we feel, which was not the case when we were younger. Before reaching an age of seniority, we obviously experience hard times which disrupt our lives and which we deal with as they come; things like death (of a parent, grandparent, friend, spouse), illnesses (ours or others'), job losses, divorces, etc. These are hard times and require periods of grief, which they get, and then we move on as best we can.

But as we get older, all of a sudden, those challenging situations simply seem to hit all at once. We no longer have the luxury of dealing with one disaster at a time. If we still are lucky enough to have parents around, there are likely consuming issues around them and their care. At the same time, as kids enter the "real world" there are challenges around their launching (successfully, or not). Job security can be a real concern, and let's face it -- health issues become more regular and problematic (if not for ourselves, then assuredly for friends who are of the same age (or older)). Surgeries, treatments, medications, and keeping healthy become the fodder of conversations (and now-relevant jokes), and THIS is what can make a person who didn't feel old before feel old all of a sudden. While this phenomenon totally makes sense, I hadn't heard others talk about it and therefore not considered it; and it definitely takes some getting used to.

As happens whenever I have a birthday (especially a milestone one, like I just had), I get asked how it feels to be my new age. And I reply (because this has always been true, thank God) that it feels the same as it did before. So far, I'm lucky (puh-puh-puh) -- I don't have any real aches, pains, or diseases. Hell, I don't even wear glasses (although that could change this year, lol). So, I physically don't feel old or older (yet). However, I have started to feel really old these past few weeks because so many of my peers are currently struggling. It's been a really crazy realization to make, quite frankly.

And thus, with this newfound perspective, I say, as I often do: live life for today (preferably with friends) as tomorrow is not guaranteed. As we age, life can get hard and make us feel old, so while we still can, I recommend spending quality time with friends, eating what you want (within reason), engaging in your passions, exploring the world (near and far), doing something good for yourself (body and/or mind), and/ or doing something good for others. Make it a personal goal to enjoy at least one thing every single day! I think even Martha (Stewart) would say, "that's a good thing."