Just Breathe.... (Yeah, No)
- donnaramadishes
- Jun 21
- 4 min read
You know when the ubiquitous "they" say to just take a deep breath to clear your mind, and you'll feel better? Well, I tried that the other day, when a particularly ignorant and offensive meme (and its comments) had me literally shrieking and raging at the world. (If you know me personally, this is not hard to imagine.)
I walked for miles, the weather great, nice cool breezes from the beach, with the sound of lapping waves when I wasn't hearing Beethoven's Pastoral symphony play through my earbuds. I tried to take in the beauty around me and calm myself. You know what happened? The more I tried to center myself and NOT think about the atrocities happening every day these days, the angrier I got. Even a primal scream on the beach didn't work! I realized that these good-faith efforts to calm myself down were not going to make life any better and so it was just a waste of time. And I hate wasting time.
I believe that normalcy bias is to blame for much of the avoidance folks are engaging in these days. As I understand it, normalcy bias is essentially a cognitive defense mechanism that causes individuals to downplay the impact of a negative situation, leading them to believe that things will continue as usual even when there are clear warnings or signs of danger. The belief that staying calm (& staying the course) will magically restore normalcy causes many to ignore the abundance of abnormal activity and is akin to metaphorically kicking the can down the road, thus exacerbating the situation. This frustrates me greatly as avoidance can't, by definition, bring action or change -- and I'd like to think we can all agree that we need change.
I'm frustrated that I cannot do more than donate, contact congressional representatives, and protest -- I'm neither wealthy enough, young enough, nor pugilistic enough (yet) to get people angry enough to organize. In the US, democrats are (mostly) playing by the rules and taking the high road while being arrested and assassinated while MAGAts celebrate the violence and try to foment more.
I'm frustrated that those more inherently optimistic than I still don't seem to realize that the US democracy is virtually dead and potentially unable to be resurrected. Think I'm exaggerating? Even Barack Obama has warned that the US is "dangerously close" to losing democracy and that something needs to happen pretty much now.
I'm frustrated that nobody is talking about what happens if and when our democracy actually and unquestionably dies. Do we remain the USA but have a full-on despotic tyranny? Or do we break into chunks, EU-style? Or do we rebel (other than at peaceful protests) to take back the democracy which has been stolen? And if we do manage to re-establish a democracy akin to what the Founding Fathers envisioned, what do we do with all the folks who don't support that?
I'm frustrated that so many people feel empowered to be openly anti-Semitic. We have right-wing neo-Nazis and KKK supporters in prominent positions within the Trump regime, and there's also a progressive NYC mayoral front-runner who endorses a global intifada. Two Jewish politicians in MN were assassinated, and recently, firebombs have been lobbed at Jews -- into the home of the PA governor and at a couple outside the Jewish Museum in DC. The response has been minimal (quite silent, really). I've included a video link below on the rise of antisemitism among US progressives by Van Jones, along with two Facebook memes, which resonate with me. Hopefully, they will really make you think about things if you have not been impacted by this rise in anti-Jewish sentiment.
Lastly, I am so frustrated that people are shutting down loved ones who need to vent. I understand you may not want to take in any more disturbing information, but please trust that your friends/loved ones might explode if they don't blurt out something new which they have learned. Realize that they are not trying to bring you down, but that they are just trying to survive (and/or give you some information). Be empathetic and listen. You don't need to engage and reply if you're trying to cope with things in your own way. You can do this, I know it.
In other words, I just can't anymore. If you want to be all zen and focus your consciousness away from the shitshow-in-progress, just remember that doing so (at least inadvertently) is making things worse. Instead, I invite you to address the issues with like-minded folks somewhat regularly and brainstorm new ways you can make a difference (small though it might be). A great example of this is USC law school setting up a hotline to help immigrants with their upcoming court hearings. I fear that unless and until more things like this happen, there will be no turning back.
Don't keep your anguish in -- find folks who will at least listen to you. Better yet, spend time with folks who will commiserate with you and together plot a path toward action. It'll be cathartic for you and good for the country.
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