Are Your Ducks In A Row?

Getting your affairs (legal and otherwise) in order is healthier than it is depressing

I hate to break it to you, but you aren't going to live forever. And, it's even possible that a day will come when you can't manage your own affairs. Sorry.

Therefore, during key moments in life (think: the start of a new year, a birthday (especially a BIG one), periods of unrest, or after a major life change), I think it's wise to contemplate mortality and work toward making sure everything is in order, just in case something unexpected occurs. I'm here to help you do just that.

Recognizing that there is a lot to take in, here's a handy snapshot of what follows, along with links to the relevant sections. [Now would be a good time to save, print, or bookmark this blog post for future reference.]

Digital Access	Estate Planning	Communicating it
Password Vault Digital Legacy	Power of Attorney Beneficiaries for All Financial Accounts Will/ Trust Medical Power of Attorney Living Will TOD Deeds	Instructions Final Wishes Where Everything is Located Assets & Debts Important Contacts

As far as I am concerned, pretty much anyone over the age of 30 should have their ducks in a row. If you feel like you're in good shape, having everything here taken care of and up-to-date, then give yourself a big pat on the back. If you still have work to do toward checking these items off your ducks-in-a-row to-do list, I strongly encourage you to begin tackling them, even if it means just starting to think about them (baby steps).

I understand it can be difficult and unpleasant, but the earlier you handle these matters, the better —particularly if you don't want to be cursed by the people left managing things when you're unable to do so.

Digital Access

These days, most of us have a digital footprint, and access all sorts of websites and apps in order to live our daily lives. So, when you are no longer able to use the digital tools you rely upon, it is imperative that someone else can (to close accounts and download information, pictures, or whatnot).

I strongly believe everyone should have a password vault, and that your trusted loved ones (and/or estate executors/ trustees) know how to gain access into it in case of emergency.  Password vaults are for more than just passwords -- they are places to keep login credentials, passwords (of course), user IDs, frequent user information, account numbers, passport and any other important information you may want to find at a later time (ie car VIN #s, license plates, insurance account numbers, etc). While you can have a paper document (a list, a booklet), I think having a digital one makes more sense as you are more likely to have it with you when you need it. I happen to use mSecure, but there are many others, and I suspect all are fine (and secure). I have read good things about 1Password ($3 a month for an individual plan, $5 a month for the shared family plan) and Bitwarden (free, with in-app upgrades). Apple and Google have their own free apps, which save and store passwords on devices running their software. I, personally, find it helpful to be able to access my information both on my digital devices as well as on my computer, which is doable with mSecure and Bitwarden -- just something to think about when you sign up for one.

There is also something called a digital legacy, which essentially tells Apple & Google who can access your information (like passwords and photos) after you die. It took me literally less than two minutes to establish mine. Click here for clear and simple instructions on setting up digital legacies on your devices -- Apple or Google. I did not write this (hence the link), but I think it is a great resource for pretty much anyone.

Making Sure Your Wishes are Honored (aka Estate Planning)

If you have any thoughts on how you want things handled when you are unable to handle them yourself, having the following documents in order is essential. Some of these require a lawyer to set up, but the cost to have the documents drawn up will end up paying for itself in the long run (both in terms of probate & estate settlement fees as well as in emotional anxiety and time).

• A Last Will & Testament and/or Trust

  • These documents legally determine who gets what, when (and how) after you die. If you do not have a will (or trust), the state determines what happens, which can be timely, expensive, and unfair...

  • Before you embark on this important to-do, have a plan in mind for who you want to get what, and then have back-ups if those people aren't around. Don't stress any more than that before beginning because your lawyer or template will guide you through the other stuff.

  • Because these documents are legal, it is imperative that they are executed properly. An attorney is the obvious person to handle this, but there are online tools and DIY templates available which are cheaper options. Free Will and Trust & Will are the two online services I've heard good things about (with Trust & Will preferred). Here's a handy overview of average costs...

Everyone needs a will

• Specific beneficiaries for all financial accounts

  • Setting up beneficiaries for your financial accounts is something which is both important and easy. In most cases, you can do it on the website of each financial institution -- and you should do it for each account at each institution.

  • The beneficiary need only go to the bank with your death certificate and an ID of their own when the time comes.

  • While you might think that stipulating your financial wishes in your will is enough, having designated beneficiaries is better...

  

  The importance of establishing beneficiaries

• A Transfer On Death /Lady Bird (Enhanced Life Estate) Deed -- for homeowners

  • This document allows your home to be transferred automatically to your designee when you die. All they need to do is take their ID and your death certificate to the county building and the deed is signed over to them immediately.

  • Having this kind of deed filed with your county saves your heirs potentially quite a lot of money as it serves to keep the home excluded from probate. This is something an attorney can handle and file, or it may be doable by you at your local clerk's office -- you need to check.

  • Not all states allow for this. Here is a list of the ones that do, as well as a discussion of it.

    
    

• A Durable Power of Attorney

  • This allows you to designate a person to make legal decisions if you are no longer competent to do so.

  • As this is a standard estate planning document, it may be included in the online package if you are not using an attorney. But it is legal and needs to be properly executed, so make sure you get this right.

• A Living Will (Medical Directive) & Medical Power of Attorney

  • These documents put in writing exactly what you want done and who can do it in the event that you cannot speak for yourself when it comes to healthcare decisions.

Medical Directives and Powers of Attorney

Create a "When I Die" Document or File

If you have not had to deal, personally, with the settlement of an estate after a loved one died, you can't know just how important it is that the trustee or executor be able to find all sorts of information. The longer it takes and the harder it is just costs the estate money in legal fees, continued monthly fees in keeping things going, etc. The sooner an estate or trust is settled, the better for everyone; please trust me on this.

I would suggest that you create a document or folder which includes information your executor/ trustee will need/ want. Should you realistically not be up for compiling everything in one document or curated folder, there is a great product, the Nok Box, which is a file box of sorts into which you can simply add your important documents/ information. I don't care what you choose to do, but please do something, and keep all relevant parties aware of what you're doing and where the work-in-process exists.

Here are some of the important pieces of information to include:

• Instructions & Wishes: If you have any specific things you want considered after you are no longer able to communicate them yourself, a document with this information is a good idea.

  • My mother sent a letter to all her kids stipulating (exactly) what she wanted to happen (and what she did NOT want to happen) after she died. We referred to it to honor those wishes, and in it we had a lasting record of her "voice" (which still brings a smile to my face -- she was funny and this note was SO her).

  • If you already have a cemetery plot or specific plan, this is essential information.

  • I know of people who have written their own obituary (!); that's an example of what to include for those you leave behind.

    
    

• A list of All Assets & Debts (with account numbers if relevant -- or with info on where to find the account numbers)

  • Investment

  • Bank

  • Insurance

  • Mortgage

  • Loan(s)

  • High-value art, furniture, furnishings, electronics, jewelry (include any appraisal info or receipts if you have them)

  • Vehicles

    
    

• A list of Other Accounts with instructions as to how and when they are paid

  • Credit cards

  • Bank

  • Monthly bills/ utilities

  • Insurance (home, car, health, life etc.)

  • Mortgage/loan

  • Tax -- local, if you pay for real estate or property taxes

    
    

• Where Everything is Located and How to Access It All -- digital and paper

  • Include policies and titles

  • Keys

  • Folders with important paperwork like past tax returns and insurance policies

  • Account statements

  • Hiding spots (along with what's hidden in them)

  • Passwords for your password safe, computer logon, phone/ tablet logon, etc.

    
    

• Important Contacts & Essential Information

  • Who to get in touch with to help with the estate settlement (lawyer, accountant, clergy, etc)

  • Who you want notified (or NOT) after you pass

  • Legal name, address, social security number, etc.

  
  

I actually have written a handbook with all of this information entitled, "When I Die or Become Incapacitated" which my beneficiaries are aware of and know where to find, which is password-protected. I am working on making this document a fillable template and will be offering it to those who are interested, for $20. Click here if interested and I'll let you know when it is available for purchase.

Some Final Thoughts

At the risk of beating a dead horse, I cannot emphasize strongly enough the importance of communicating your wishes to everyone who may need to hear them.

• Talk to your executor(s)/ trustee(s)

• Talk with those closest to you and make all your wishes KNOWN.

• Talk to those whom you’ve designated, as well as those close to you whom you did not designate who might expect something (do this to explain why your decisions were made and hopefully to avoid any lingering questions or hurt feelings).

Lastly, while having all your ducks in a row should guaranty a smooth process, it doesn't always work out that way. (All sorts of drama can happen even when wishes are clear as day.) That said, I guaranty that things would be worse if those ducks were not in a row!

Wishing you the strength and spark to get all these items completed. Both you and yours will be relieved and grateful you took the time and energy to do so.